August 3, 2010


Good day/Bad day?: Good

Feeling much better than yesterday--started off the AM a bit nauseous, but it got better quickly. I had a lovely visit from Val bearing oatmeal pancakes and bacon from Manna to brighten my morning and do some catching up--thanks, dear! Then had a bit of an afternoon rest, a delightful sandwich that made me happy (don't ask me why I'm telling you, but it was turkey with olive tapenade, a bit of mayo, and a fresh garden tomato--should've added a little crunch with cucumber), and another lovely visit, this time from Erica. So, to answer a question to no one in particular, yes I'm up for visitors most of the time, and if I'm not I'll be honest with you.

Still haven't left the house, but I'm going to dip my toes in tomorrow AM and take Olive to daycare with Mary to help settle her in. Don't plan on much more ambitious than that and will likely have some more naps than today!

Thank you again and 'bye to Kathy, who's been invaluable. And welcome to my sister Mary, who'll quickly remember what it was like when her kids were little...

I'm trying to start thinking of what will be helpful for me to do with this little chunk of time before I go back to work. I'd love to go on some sort of spiritual journey and figure out what it all means, but A) a little premature, and B) I'll still be uncomfortable for a while. So, in other words, I have to figure out little things that will be enjoyable and fill me up a little without being too taxing. Got some pondering to do, and may very well wind up watching crappy TV and being lazy instead of something more enlightened. We'll see. Let the chips fall where they may.

Oh, BTW, I'm sorry there haven't been any other pictures of interest in a while--Ben and I haven't coordinated our photo downloads and sharing very well yet. We'll throw some in soon!


Kathy said...

I'm home and hopefully can get this comment to post...been having a little trouble while at Ben and Jenny's with posting.

First, Jenny is NOT high maintenance...I like doing things her way because she and Ben spent time developing these ways, learning how to be with Olive and there are lots of details that help Olive be comfortable and happy. I've always liked writing things down--you should have seen the directions for pet sitters. Jenny doesn't boss or advise and she always seems willing to answer questions.

From the first time I saw my son's big hands holding Olive, I felt a million feelings. Watching Jenny with Olive over the past almost 12 months is a thing of beauty--she always seems patient and encouraging--she's a fantastic mom to our beautiful granddaughter Olive.

Yesterday, my heart ached for Jenny when Olive had a moment of focusing only on her own needs and not displaying the usual wild excitement we see when she sees her Mom or her Dad...I know that feeling. I remember it when picking up my kids from their grandparents and seeing that body language and facial expression that says, "Gee, I like it here with G & G".

We want our kids to be happy with their temporary caregivers and relatives, but there's a little hurt that goes along with that desire for their happiness. I'm guessing Jenny is looking ahead a little and thinking about how her relationship with Olive will be impacted over several months, even beyond the surgery healing. Don't look too far Jenny--you and Olive will find your way with each step.

The truth is, tho, that Olive will always adore her Mom and the proof of that was tonight when Jenny was sitting in child pose near where I was playing with Olive. Olive whipped away from where I was and bounded via army crawl to Jenny's knees and thighs and slapped an enthusiastic baby hug on those beloved thighs and proceeded to crawl up even closer. Mom is Mom and grandma is grandma--each has a place.

The other side of Jenny's feelings yesterday is the feeling I had of a bond with my granddaughter--it's difficult that the one comes at the expense of the other. I'm grateful to Jenny for each time she said, "Yay, it's Grandma; Grandma's here!" She gave me such an edge up on being a grandma to Olive and that was before cancer, before it was necessary to have someone else helping out with Olive.

If you visit the J-O-B team soon, be sure to check out the laundry room--it's a work of art for the time being.

I'm home now, doing what Grandparents get to do--leave the grandchild with their parents!!!

By the way--Jenny's surgery isn't nearly as "awful" as you might expect. She certainly is changed; however, it's a very peaceful change and it's healing amazingly well, at least by my non-nurse standards. It's cool the way she's open and relaxed about it. I couldn't be prouder of Ben's words about his reactions the day they returned home from the hospital and Jenny's calmness in the midst of such a profound change.

The J-O-B team members, however, aren't perfect and I spend a little time reminding them that they will sometimes falter on this journey. Nonetheless, they ARE doing an awesome job, making this look much easier than it is, practicing a gentle, let things take their course view. If that's not spiritual, I'm not sure what is. Now let's get the Boston Legal re-runs running!

ee said...

Wow! I'm not sure it can be said any better than that, Kathy! Jenny, you are beautiful and wonderful and it was a joy seeing you yesterday.

Joiner of Fine Furniture said...

It works for me. The J-O-B team RULES..!!

Jim said...

You are all amazing people in my mind. Peace.

Anonymous said...

I just want to say I'm not feeling one bit jealous that other people have seen you and I haven't.

I'm really writing to say I have a wonderful suggestion for your healing time. There are some women in California who have developed a special hat for people healing from cancer. This hat is very large brimmed and meant to be worn outside. It has special attachments such as twigs and other things that attract birds. There is an indent where bird seed is placed. As you can imagine you have to sit still and perhaps knowing a bird call or two might be helpful. So while you are healing you can feel useful, become part of nature and enjoy the birds and they can enjoy you!

You just say the word I it is ordered :)

Jennifer said...


You continually amaze me. Think of you often and send every positive thought I have your, Ben, and Olive's way!!!

P.S. Your sandwich sounds delicious. :) I'm glad it made you happy!!!

Jen F.

Jen said...


I'll take a pass on the hat--never did think I was much of a hat person. Not much of a bird person, either! Though I haven't tried out my St Francis abilities yet... Maybe I'd have you order it for Ben to wear for some "laugh therapy".

Ben said...

Please don't give Betty any more ideas than she already has...

Jolene said...

I like the hat idea, I bet Olive would love it if mom had a bird sitting on her head! Of course, when they eat, they poop too so maybe it's not a good idea. You don't need any bird poop on your suture lines! I am glad to hear you are having a better day and eating as well. Unlike Mia, I am feeling very jealous that others have had a date with you and I haven't....I will call you for a date soon. In the mean time, keep taking nourishment and healing.........

Anonymous said...

I was so sure you would love the hat idea that I already ordered it!