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Good day/bad day?: ooooo, this is a tough one

I was fully prepared to say bad day, but I've also has some lovely glimpses of good day--I think of it similar to partly cloudy vs partly sunny.

So, the biggest part of the day is that I have a surgery date--July 29th, a Thursday. 13 days. I'm already alternating between freaking out and being totally fine, but people keep telling me I'm supposed to be doing that.

Julie came with me today to meet with the surgeon, and after a healthy wait, we talked a couple different scenarios through. I will be having bilateral mastectomy, axillary node dissection on the R side and sentinel node biopsy on the L. She's told me she will try to have me be as "smooth" as possible. I don't know if that sounds appealing, but I appreciate what she means. No reconstruction. Just one night in the hospital, then 7-10 days to get the drains out. I'm hoping to be better enough to fully participate in Olive's 1st birthday celebration! This may be a little preview:


I guess I'll try to enjoy 'em while I've got 'em.

The good of the day lies in having some lovely conversations with some lovely people and getting some delightful news from a friend. I also felt like reaching out a little and found a few old friends on Facebook. Olive and I had a good night together, but now she's waking herself up coughing...

So come one, come all, to join me on my roller coaster ride of anticipation until the tangible events of this cancer start to unfold. I had a lot of really profound thoughts earlier this evening that I swore I'd share with you all, but now I'm tired and past my bedtime, so they're totally gone. Funny how that keeps happening!