July 17, 2010

Emphasis on the crabby...

Good day/bad day?: meh. I tried, but it wasn't awesome.

I went on an unexpected detour this afternoon and realized I'd done too much when I should have been napping. When we got home, I thought Olive would sleep more so I could, too, but she was wide awake so I got cranky. Sorry Punkin, you're not as bad a dog as I made you out to be!
I've been meaning to give her a shout-out anyway...

So yeah, I keep trying to look like I'm doing well with everything, but then I take it out on the dog, stress eat, am tempted to do some retail therapy, etc. I don't know, I think I may need a couple of days of not talking about it much. Of course I say that and I'll be the first one to get talkative about it.

I guess I'm overwhelmed, in both good and bad ways. The bad is obvious--I have cancer, I'm having a more "drastic" surgery to reduce my risks, I still have many more nuances of this to think about in the future, including even more treatment choices.

The good is more that so many people want to help and anticipate how to help, but I don't know what I'm going to need, what Ben & Olive are going to need, and how we'll be at accepting help. I know it makes it easier for everyone to have a job to do and to know when to do it, but I can't be that helpful yet. Ben & I will keep talking and figure out where we can let people in, and we'll let you know, but it's going to be a few more days of processing, first.

Oh yeah, and Olive has a fever. Gotta decide if she needs to be seen tomorrow or we can just ride it out--she's had a low-level respiratory thing this whole week and was hoping she'd get through it quickly. Poor hot baby!

Again, too late in the day for the profound. Maybe tomorrow. 'Nite!

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