September 19, 2010

Getting mad at it

Good day/Bad day?: Okay

I had a pretty good first half of the day--we went out for breakfast, then I did make it to the yoga class for cancer survivors. It was nice because it was essentially just a regular yoga class, no sitting in a circle talking about our feelings, but there were adaptations for those of us with arm limitations, some special poses to stimulate detox, etc. Glad I went. Then I hit the wall in the evening.

When I hit the wall, I have to hand off any sharing of Olive duties, and tonight was one of the few nights that Ben said it made him mad--not at me but at my cancer. Good for him for saying it, since he probably is a lot more than he verbalizes. It's still hard for me to separate the mad at it vs mad at me, though, because I feel like I am letting people down when I have to officially tag out. I try to just ease back as my energy flags, but there are some times when I can't fake it and can't push myself and just have to be done. Makes me mad, too.

There's been folks who have collected funds for us to hire a cleaning service. I REALLY would like to start that, but right now it's too hard to arrange the timing, somewhat with Olive but really with Punkin'. It's more logistics than we can muster right now. I hope no one will be offended if we change it to a "Wellness" fund. I'll be starting acupuncture very soon and it would go to that, potentially some supplements, and also the copay for seeing my oncologist every 3 weeks. This is NOT a solicitation for more funds, but I just want to put what's there to good use and notify the donors of the change.

Did I tell you my hair is starting to fall out? It's official. I'll be a while before it's noticeable, since I have enough hair for 10 people.

Yikes! Olive just woke up screaming. Never had her teething this badly before (getting molars). Talk about getting mad...


ee said...

I love you, just so you know

Jen said...

Thanks, dear--love you too!

merry said...

I love you MUCH more than ee does!

Jen said...

Oh boy, can you bid on that?! I'll take it all, lovely people!