March 24, 2011

Expectations

Good day/Bad day?: Pretty good

Still kind of in my funk, though. Yesterday really did me in--just have a lot on my mind, and then I had an evening where I could do no right with Olive. Lots of screaming. At least Ben had some luck. A little demoralizing, even if I know it wasn't personal. Tonight was much better--we even had a smiley diaper change.

I'm trying not to get ahead of myself with expecting bad side effects. Not always easy to do! This is one time when knowledge isn't always power, or I know just enough to be dangerous... As much as they can tell me that a lot of the side effects are rare, it doesn't help that I've seen some extreme examples of them in my work. And I also know that many of the women receiving radiation have only had lumpectomy--they still have breast tissue as a protective layer to nourish the skin as it's getting hit, and I don't have that. I'm expecting I could wind up with some bad peeling, burning, itching, and maybe weeping/blistering. Yeah, it's not life or death, but it's quality of life...

I'm still working through a lot of coordinating and scheduling with all these appts and work. This whole time I'd said to myself that I'd take days off just to rest and take care of myself, and I haven't really done it. I'm going to try to start for the next couple of months. We'll see--at least I'll do it until I run out of time off. That, plus working in daily radiation, OT/PT (not sure of frequency yet, but I have my first appt next week), trying to still have acupuncture, maybe the dentist, also want to start a Zumba class with a friend to get more active...oh yeah, and I should probably still work, be a good wife and mother, etc., etc. But it's not like most people I know aren't leading lives like this, too.

Olive's word? Today, I'll go with "boots". But really my favorite thing right now is a little song she sings to herself while she dances. See, we have the complete Pee-Wee's Playhouse series on DVD. She's maybe seen half a dozen episodes, and now she's obsessed. So everyday now she pulls out the 2 box sets, says "Pee-Pee" repeatedly, and dances and sings her version of the theme song. It's pretty awesome, and freakin' adorable. Just don't try to take the DVDs away from her until she's good & ready.

1 comment:

Mia said...

OoohhWhee, that little olive is coming into her own. Good luck with that!
Yes Jenny we all have busy lives but we don't have to schedule 30 radiation treatments, OT/PT, acupuncture and other cancer related "activities". A couple days ago I bitch slapped cancer for Ben now I will bitch slap it a double whammy for you! I'm still mad and super sick of this crap on your behalf!