May 31, 2011


Good day/Bad day?: okay

I was bone tired today, but there were some enjoyable moments to it... Still struggling to be productive at work, to plan ahead and follow through on things. I'm not gaining any more focus having to think ahead about all this Olive prep. BTW, they changed her surgery date today to June 30th. Ben & I will definitely not be having our vacation at Madeline Island the next week! I may wind up taking another week off work after that. I've also commissioned Ben to develop something to wheel Olive around the house--I am not going to be lifting close to 40 lbs of child regularly.

I've had some time lately to think about wants and needs. Having cancer, going through treatment does make you take stock after all. Again, it's all about perspective. I have everything I need. I do not want for the necessities of life on a regular basis. I am loved and love. I have many simple joys that are profound on their own. What Olive has going on is temporary and fixable--could be a lot worse.

What about health? I don't know if that falls into wants or needs. It's too much of a continuum--you can certainly have less good health than you need, more health is better--but how much is enough? Depends on the day you ask me. I certainly have room to grow right now. My body has bounced back a lot, but I am not feeling 35 yet--maybe 50-ish. Well, I guess I want that to improve, but I don't NEED it to. But I hope it will.

I wanted to celebrate another birthday with Mom, too, but 66 was not to be hers today...

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