Good day/Bad day?: pretty good but tiring
I've been having some full days at work lately, which for me is a long, long day. I'm feeling a little bad about taking extra hours or days off because I'll be taking 2 weeks for Olive's surgery/recovery.
So, I haven't talked a huge amount our marriage here because I want to keep a lot of what is between Ben & me just between us. But I don't think it's too much to reveal that--guess what?--all of this has been a big challenge for our relationship. The cancer and the surgery and the treatment was enough, but now just as we try to take a breath, there's the next challenge. And then there's all the changes to me that won't go away. And there's all the concern for what this could mean for the future. And for Olive's risks. And risks for another kid. And. And. And. And this is the stuff of a life together.
Needless to say, Ben & I both have our fair share of resentment toward this stupid disease. Unfortunately, it can become easy to let that bleed into resentment toward each other. Or at least the impression that there's resentment toward each other. Of course, still feeling a little vulnerable and guilty with all this havoc, I'm very prone to guessing that it's there. We're working it all out, but needless to say there have been more deep conversations about the state of things than a thousand Bens would ever sign up to have. So we keep at it.
Just like Johnny and June...