June 25, 2011


Good day/Bad day?: Good

...or Happy Crapiversary, or the Worst Year of the Rest of My Life. Oh, whatever. I don't know quite what to think to put this into perspective as a date. One year ago today, I received my biopsy results and cancer diagnosis. I was at work, had my office to myself, and called the poor nurse practitioner back to get the news over the phone. What happened next was all a blur--don't remember who I called, who I told at work, how quickly I got out of there...

So now what does that mean? Is today when I consider myself a 1-year survivor? Or a year after treatment? It starts to all seem a little arbitrary. Ben was wondering why I wasn't more positive about this year marker, thinks I should celebrate that I fought this and made it through, largely intact:). Well, I guess it can be a starting point. As someone said to me today, time to stop being on defense and start being on offense!

So I spent a lovely, busy, draining day hanging out with my favorite gal (3 playgrounds, farmer's market, bike ride). I also had a break in the middle of the day to finally get in for some more craniosacral work. There's so much hurt and strain stored in my right shoulder, it's hard to undo but she made some progress. I've spent this last year remodeling and protecting myself so much that I feel I was actually transforming into a turtle and hiding in a shell--my shoulders slowly getting stuck more & more forward. Time to start working off some of those layers. Time to start working through some of this business.

(BTW, night #1 of Operation Big-girl Bed was a rousing success. No trying to crawl out of bed, slept as well as usual, woke up and just started rolling around and playing with her stuffed animals. I thought for sure Ben or I would have to sleep in there or she'd want the crib--guess we can officially move that out now!)

Thanks, all, for being there for the long haul...

1 comment:

Kathy said...

Yay for successful transitions--may there be many more!