February 7, 2011

Pardon my French...

Good day/Bad day?: thumbs down

...but, shit. So the radiation oncology appt didn't go the way I wanted. I had basically made up my mind that radiation wouldn't be enough improvement in recurrence rates to make me want to do it. But there were different numbers than I've heard before (as far as my risk of local recurrence now). We'll see--I'll call tomorrow to get an appt for a second opinion, thanks to Ben's insisting.

I was just mentally ready to be done in a couple of weeks. It's a hard pill to swallow to think about another 6 weeks of daily treatments. They are clear that it's always my choice and I wouldn't be wrong to pass on the radiation. But it's also hard to see a greater risk and feel like I can just let that go. I'll tell you the numbers after the second opinion, okay? Just a downer moment. That, and my aches set in as the evening came on.

1 comment:

Kathy said...

I'm sorry Jenny that there's a good chance you and all those around you can't be finished yet...but, I'm proud that you are listening and wanting to do all that you can to really be finished with it. Maybe there was a reason for your pensiveness about the ending of treatment; maybe something inside you was preparing you to be tough a little longer. When you are 90, 6 weeks and temporary aches will seem like a drop in the bucket. Meanwhile, I second your expletive--it all sucks.