February 22, 2011

Bummer

Good day/Bad day?: slightly less that okay

This is going to be a very busy week where I'm going to have a very hard time keeping up. Today I have a lot of nerve pain shooting around various places, esp low back. And I'm just cranky, too.

I had an appt with my OB/gyn today, first since the cancer diagnosis, and we wound up having a lot of discussion about future options, esp the kid vs no kid argument (in the future, not giving Olive away!). He was trying to remain impartial, but when I talk through the scenario again, it doesn't sound very good. I knew that, but had pushed it away for a while and it just makes me sad to think about again. You know, you hear about young women who have cancer and finish treatment and then have their children that they call "miracles". That's never been my style, but it also wasn't a narrative I'd completely ruled out. Well, one thing I've learned is that cancer brings up a neverending series of questions and decisions, so I certainly know nothing is decided today. Just puts a little damper on the old mood.

3 comments:

Kathy said...

Jenny, I share your sorrow and I hope by sharing it, I relieve it just a little. Hugs for you and Ben and Olive. When expectations are changed, new expectations are formed and they will prove good too.
Kathy

Joiner of Fine Furniture said...

I can never understate the power of fine dark chocolate.

mia said...

Testing 1.2.3. Seeing if I can finally post (stalk) you online. Let's see if this works...