Parenthood

Good day/Bad day?: Good

I had a really good weekend full of productivity and silly times (and not feeling sick). Ben came home today--I seem to have missed him more than he missed me... Anyway, it's nice to have him back even though I had awesome help from Julie and Kathy through the 5 nights he was gone. It'll be nice to sleep next to him tonight.

So needless to say I had a lot of Olive time both with and without the help of others over the last 5 days. Ben gives me grief sometimes about not getting away more when there is someone around to help out--a lot of times I wind up playing with her anyway. I know I need breaks and rest, but it's complicated. See, this whole cancer deal likely means that she will be our one and only child. Yeah, I know it's not a given, but I'm putting my body through a lot right now and would need to give it time to recover (MD recommendation is about 3 years, but I know that's not a set rule). I also had not the easiest first pregnancy with nausea and severe fibroid pain. All in all, it's not looking super promising--I just don't know if I can ask that of my body again.

What I'm trying to say is that Olive is my only shot to get this parenting thing right, and it's hard to sit on the sidelines and miss out even with fatigue and all. I think this is where Ben thinks I just want to be in control, but it's really more about trying to be present in the moments that I'm given. That's a challenge anyway, but it's heightened for me right now. I also have a terrible memory for life events--great for random trivia, bad for details of important moments to me--so I'm doing my best to cram Olive moments in my brain.

I'm going to put the word out for accepting a few meals in the near future--please check in with me or Ben to make sure we're not too full, but it's been nice to have things to just heat up. Thank you to all who've helped out with that! (Everything we've gotten has been delicious, and I'm not just saying that...)