Good day/Bad day?: Good, though I started out crappy
Yay, wonderful weekend helpers! Sue came to hang out with Olive yesterday, Jon came to mow this AM, and Myra & Maureen entertained Olive for the afternoon and took her to see great-grandma! Thank you all--Ben & I got some good stuff done, I got to rest. The only time it's been easy to ask people to help around the house was when I was post-surgical and could hardly move my arms, so thanks for doing the chores I asked for...
That kinda makes up for the fact that I want to rip my chest off. Itchy, hot, peely, sore. Thursday can't come fast enough. And then what? Well, we'll take it one step at a time. I'd like to get excited and celebrate and all that, but I also need to heal up. I think a number of small celebrations will be what's in order.
Olive's going to sleep like a log tonight, knock wood. Busy weekend for her. What's exciting for her? She does a pretty good elephant noise sometimes, and she tried Italian parsley from the garden and loved it. And rocks are pretty cool.
May 15, 2011
May 11, 2011
T- minus...
Good day/Bad day?: pthhhhht
Needed 2 naps and still worn out.
Official end date of radiation = May 19th.
Needed 2 naps and still worn out.
Official end date of radiation = May 19th.
May 10, 2011
Yeouch
Good day/Bad day?: mostly good
Kinda worn out today from the get-go, but made it through a 3-hr class first thing in the morning. Then it was all downhill--hooray for naps! But this evening, Dianna came to hang out with Olive while Ben & I went out. Good Laotian dinner, piece of cheesecake from the Blue Plate, walked by the lake a little, and Tom Waits sang us home. Can't complain about that.
And now for the complaining! My skin is going straight to horrible with the radiation. It's starting to peel and open up under my armpits, the skin is swollen and almost black under there, can't comfortably put my arm down... This sucks. Going to have to grit my teeth to get through the rest of this.
Kinda worn out today from the get-go, but made it through a 3-hr class first thing in the morning. Then it was all downhill--hooray for naps! But this evening, Dianna came to hang out with Olive while Ben & I went out. Good Laotian dinner, piece of cheesecake from the Blue Plate, walked by the lake a little, and Tom Waits sang us home. Can't complain about that.
And now for the complaining! My skin is going straight to horrible with the radiation. It's starting to peel and open up under my armpits, the skin is swollen and almost black under there, can't comfortably put my arm down... This sucks. Going to have to grit my teeth to get through the rest of this.
May 8, 2011
Mother's Day
Good day/Bad day?: Pretty good
Happy Mother's Day! (FYI, it is not a Hallmark holiday, has some more meaningful origins than that...) Had a good breakfast out, then headed to the zoo, then a nap, and an evening hanging out and playing. Wish I felt better, but it was still good. Olive liked the flamingos, prairie dogs, bison, polar & grizzly bears, giraffes...it was a lovely day for it, and yay for free zoos! Thanks, Ben, for giving me some breaks, and thanks Bruce & Kathy for the nice gifts!
I want to take this day to thank the mothers in my life for mothering me through this. Without my own mom, you have stepped in to nuture me, watch out for my well-being, bake for me... This is for you, the incredible moms, aunts, sisters, grandmas, friends, in-laws, that have all adopted me and let me know that it's okay to rely on the love that's out there and that it comes with no strings attached. That's what all you moms do so well. Not to discount the fellas--I've got an awesome group of those looking out for me, too. But this process has brought all that it means to be female front and center, and as I've lost pieces of that physically, I'm more aware of the other parts of that.
And Olive has certainly added a whole new dimension to me and my life, too. Turns out I'll put my body through a whole heck of a lot to be able to hang out with her & Ben a lot longer. She brings out parts of me I never knew I had. Being a mother is darn cool (if exhausting!). She gives us a lot to be proud of.
And so I head into the home stretch. About 2 more weeks of radiation, then a little lag time as I recover from that--it's way more cumulative than chemo. Getting there.
Olive's word of the week is "octopus". She at least gets all the syllables right, even if she throws in an "e" ("eat-o-puh"). Didn't get to see one today, though.
Happy Mother's Day! (FYI, it is not a Hallmark holiday, has some more meaningful origins than that...) Had a good breakfast out, then headed to the zoo, then a nap, and an evening hanging out and playing. Wish I felt better, but it was still good. Olive liked the flamingos, prairie dogs, bison, polar & grizzly bears, giraffes...it was a lovely day for it, and yay for free zoos! Thanks, Ben, for giving me some breaks, and thanks Bruce & Kathy for the nice gifts!
I want to take this day to thank the mothers in my life for mothering me through this. Without my own mom, you have stepped in to nuture me, watch out for my well-being, bake for me... This is for you, the incredible moms, aunts, sisters, grandmas, friends, in-laws, that have all adopted me and let me know that it's okay to rely on the love that's out there and that it comes with no strings attached. That's what all you moms do so well. Not to discount the fellas--I've got an awesome group of those looking out for me, too. But this process has brought all that it means to be female front and center, and as I've lost pieces of that physically, I'm more aware of the other parts of that.
And Olive has certainly added a whole new dimension to me and my life, too. Turns out I'll put my body through a whole heck of a lot to be able to hang out with her & Ben a lot longer. She brings out parts of me I never knew I had. Being a mother is darn cool (if exhausting!). She gives us a lot to be proud of.
And so I head into the home stretch. About 2 more weeks of radiation, then a little lag time as I recover from that--it's way more cumulative than chemo. Getting there.
Olive's word of the week is "octopus". She at least gets all the syllables right, even if she throws in an "e" ("eat-o-puh"). Didn't get to see one today, though.
May 7, 2011
Delight
Good day/Bad day?: Good
Welcome to the world, Ivy! And happy birthday to her mama, too!
Had a busy last couple of days--Thurs was supposed to be a day off but worked half, then massage (thanks Jeanette!), and Friday was a full day, too. I very much need a nap to recover in the late afternoon/early eve. And my chest is about the color of raw beef right now, in a nice swath from my armpit to the bottom of my ribcage (and feels about as good as you'd expect, i.e. not). But whatever. I was feeling very pensive Thurs, but since I didn't write it down then, some of my grand thoughts are lost.
Big yay to Sue, who came to help out today and gave me the opportunity for a 3-hr nap and a trip to Target. I got to save some energy for tonight, hanging out with my sis. We had deliciousness at the Underground Kitchen, and then saw Jonathan Richman perform--totally joyful, silly show. He should be my own personal troubadour. Good stuff.
Happy almost-Mother's Day! More thoughts on that tomorrow. Good night.
Welcome to the world, Ivy! And happy birthday to her mama, too!
Had a busy last couple of days--Thurs was supposed to be a day off but worked half, then massage (thanks Jeanette!), and Friday was a full day, too. I very much need a nap to recover in the late afternoon/early eve. And my chest is about the color of raw beef right now, in a nice swath from my armpit to the bottom of my ribcage (and feels about as good as you'd expect, i.e. not). But whatever. I was feeling very pensive Thurs, but since I didn't write it down then, some of my grand thoughts are lost.
Big yay to Sue, who came to help out today and gave me the opportunity for a 3-hr nap and a trip to Target. I got to save some energy for tonight, hanging out with my sis. We had deliciousness at the Underground Kitchen, and then saw Jonathan Richman perform--totally joyful, silly show. He should be my own personal troubadour. Good stuff.
Happy almost-Mother's Day! More thoughts on that tomorrow. Good night.
May 4, 2011
"Brisk"
Good day/Bad day?: eh
That's the word they use to describe my skin reaction. I had another radiation onc MD today (my usual MD's at a conference), and he had an interesting way of putting things. He said they're happy to see the brisk skin reaction--if my body is susceptible to the radiation and reacting like this, they hope that any remaining cancer cells are just as reactive.
Okay during the day, but after radiation I'm spent most days now. It's fairly quick when it comes on (during dinner tonight), and it's upsetting. I don't like having to check out like that. Get used to it, Jenny. A couple more weeks of treatments, and then we'll see how long it takes to recover.
That's the word they use to describe my skin reaction. I had another radiation onc MD today (my usual MD's at a conference), and he had an interesting way of putting things. He said they're happy to see the brisk skin reaction--if my body is susceptible to the radiation and reacting like this, they hope that any remaining cancer cells are just as reactive.
Okay during the day, but after radiation I'm spent most days now. It's fairly quick when it comes on (during dinner tonight), and it's upsetting. I don't like having to check out like that. Get used to it, Jenny. A couple more weeks of treatments, and then we'll see how long it takes to recover.
May 3, 2011
Extra crispy
Good day/Bad day?: okay
Very disjointed last few days, so I'm having a hard time knowing that it's Tuesday. Not that it matters. I was at a conference, and it actually started with a half day Sunday so my week's thrown off. Nothing exotic, just in the Dells for an Alzheimer's conference. I kinda love conferences--free pens and stuff, brochures you'll never read, looking forward to mediocre snack breaks--it sounds sarcastic, but I actually do like it! There was some good info, too. Today was partially starting to get a little sort of back into work for a short while. Tomorrow will be better.
I've had a couple more of those profound fatigue spells. Not every day, maybe every other. Last week was the halfway point for radiation! Getting there. It will be done none too soon--I don't know how much more my skin can take.
Sorry, it's a bad cell phone pic with shiny skin (very close up--Ben's hesitant to have me post my scars for public access). But as you can see, there's a clear difference from the pale R side and the L swath that's angry red. Clothing is starting to get very uncomfortable, and I'm going to try a gel dressing over it tonight to sleep, crossing my fingers that it will work.
Very disjointed last few days, so I'm having a hard time knowing that it's Tuesday. Not that it matters. I was at a conference, and it actually started with a half day Sunday so my week's thrown off. Nothing exotic, just in the Dells for an Alzheimer's conference. I kinda love conferences--free pens and stuff, brochures you'll never read, looking forward to mediocre snack breaks--it sounds sarcastic, but I actually do like it! There was some good info, too. Today was partially starting to get a little sort of back into work for a short while. Tomorrow will be better.
I've had a couple more of those profound fatigue spells. Not every day, maybe every other. Last week was the halfway point for radiation! Getting there. It will be done none too soon--I don't know how much more my skin can take.
Sorry, it's a bad cell phone pic with shiny skin (very close up--Ben's hesitant to have me post my scars for public access). But as you can see, there's a clear difference from the pale R side and the L swath that's angry red. Clothing is starting to get very uncomfortable, and I'm going to try a gel dressing over it tonight to sleep, crossing my fingers that it will work.
This is why I justified buying 2 new pairs of shoes in the last week.
For those waiting to know more about the Olive details, her appt with the ortho surgeon isn't until the 24th. So we wait...
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